“So what does you dad do for a living?”
I have gotten so used to receiving this question over the years that my automatic response is to bury the twinge of pain in my chest and cover it up with my well-practiced verse: “Oh, I never met him. I don’t know anything about him.” Occasionally, I add: “My parents are separated.”
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Support this blog via Patron!
I am Mel G. Cabral and I create Art, Writing, Blogs, Comics, Videos, Jewelry
Hi everybody! I’m now on Patreon! If you like my work and would like to support me, it’s like tipping me, but monthly. Money is only taken from your account when I come out with new content. You can even set a monthly limit so you don’t get overcharged.
While I would continue running this blog even without Patreon, tipping me gives me a good incentive and allows me to spend more time writing new content for it! I even have a $50 monthly goal where I will write an extra post to add to my once-a-month posting schedule.
For friends who would like to support me outside of Patreon’s payment methods (which I think are debit/credit cards and Paypal), just talk to me and we can work something out. :D
Thank you so much for your support! Please do share this with your friends. <3
One of the things I decided to tackle while taking therapy was the way I handled my finances. Due to my guilt about being spoiled as a young child, I had been depriving myself the last few years. Be it new clothes, things I needed for my projects, or even food, I held back, thinking: I would save everything up for a rainy day, I’d save it all up for a better future, and besides, I had everything I needed already, didn’t I?
While holding back when it’s appropriate is definitely good, there is such a thing as holding back too much. In my case, I had been holding back so much that I started to suffer. I wouldn’t even get myself a new pair of pants despite my nearly 5+ year old pair being ripped to shreds just by walking in them one day!
My therapist suggested that, instead of looking at how much I was spending, I should set a budget for treating myself. As long as I stayed within that budget, then I had a license to treat myself, guilt-free. I realized I did only look at the total expenses, but never really broke them down into categories.
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Hey everybody. On a whim, I decided to make a vlog talking about anything and everything under the sun. It just so happened my first one discusses a bit about self-improvement vs. self-acceptance. :) I’ll post here any vlogs I feel are relevant to Kasiyahan’s message.
Please feel free to leave me topics you would like me to talk about. I’m excited to make more videos!
(Note: I have been informed the audio is a bit quiet. I will try to fix it ASAP.)
Hello everybody. Though I have not yet reached my ideal goal for my Depression and Anxiety Therapy Fundraiser, I have raised enough from your kind contributions to start my therapy sessions (with everyone’s blessing.) I was able to avail of a sliding-scale rate at the new center that I go to. I have gone to two sessions so far, and it has been immensely helpful in helping me identify my problems and how to return to being more productive for my own good.
I am considering making Therapy Session or Therapy for the Week posts of the things I have learned in each session as well as my struggles and achievements with implementing positive changes in my life. I hope that by sharing my experience, I can give others not only information but also reassurance that they are not alone. I want to give people the same courage they gave me, to keep holding on and to no longer be afraid to reach out for help.
Right now, my therapist and I are focusing on two major issues: my persistent, constant feelings of worthlessness, and becoming more productive without burning out or being afraid to begin work. We are hoping that by Week 12, I will have made some significant progress. I have decided that the indicator would be if I create constantly and consistently, for I feel I am at my happiest and my best when I create.
Thank you so much for your love and support so far, everyone. I couldn’t have made it this far without your help and your belief in me.
P.S. Therapy will now be part of my Personal Toolbox for the year, for obvious reasons. :)
I’ve made a new site: Kuwarto, a personal blog and safe space for me to post about anything and everything. It’ll be where I put my half-formed thoughts, which may lead to full-fledged posts for this blog as well. I’ll also post things that inspire me, with their proper sources.
I’m really excited to post more content on it. My mind is racing with ideas!
I also wrote a post on it differentiating Kuwarto from this blog – a public, self-care blog. Check it out if you’d like! :)
Do you have an online account you consider your safe space? If you’re comfortable sharing it with other people, leave me a link in the comments? :)
Sunday, August 28, 2013:
I am now 23 years old, and have been in a happy relationship with the love of my life for over 40 months.
I may not be able to celebrate as much as I would like since money is tight, but I let myself spend a little more on myself this year as my own reward for making it this far. Several of my birthday plans have not pushed through due to the torrential rains, but it is nothing compared to knowing my loved ones are safe and sound. The best gifts I could ever have are these wonderful people who have helped me learn to live more fully, and to love myself more completely.
Thank you to everyone who has been here for me, whether a decade ago or just recently. I hope you are all well despite the rainy weather. I am so glad to be alive, and I look forward to another year of possibilities and opportunities.
I’ve been a bit hesitant about sharing this link, but even the small response to it has given me some hint of hope, and so I think it wouldn’t hurt to share it here.
Help Mel Afford Therapy
Please consider donating for my therapy to recover from depression and anxiety? My generous friend Eren has offered to do art commissions in exchange for donations to my fundraiser. (I cannot thank her enough for her kindness.) I also offer art commissions. Even just sharing this link and signal-boosting would mean so much to me.
“Read More” for a little background on why I started this fundraiser, as well as, well, my gratitude to everyone who’s helped so far…
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Ah… a more or less clear surface with only the essentials displayed. I’ve managed to create quite the mess around the house since running out of time and energy each day to pick up after myself, and I decided to do something about it today. Unfortunately, it took me about two-three hours just to tackle the vanity surface and one or two of the drawers in it. I glance around my room and wince at the papers and art materials strewn around in no particular order. Why would this take me so long? It makes me want to give up.
But then, I have to kindly remind myself that this mess built itself up over the course of two months – perhaps more, if we count the mess I wasn’t able to get to during my second semester in graduate school – so of course it won’t take an instant to fix up something that took as long to pile up. I’d like to at least clean up two more surfaces before I call it a day, but I suppose it is an achievement I managed to clean something up at all.
Pictured here are beauty products I decided to let myself have. (I’m usually a scrooge to the point that I hold out on buying anything decent for myself, and, well, it shows sometimes.) Not pictured here is the super cute make-up my mother bought me that makes me equally as happy. (Sidenote: we share our room, so some of the items are hers.) Seeing these nice things I allowed myself to have neatly arranged makes me feel a lot better about myself, because as my good friend Luna kindly reminded me the other day, I deserve to have nice things. I deserve to live in a clean space. I deserve to be happy.
(Note: I’m not saying buying things is what makes me happy, but rather the notion that it’s all right for me to treat myself once in a while, and it’s not a sin to indulge as long as I know my limits and know what I’m doing.)
I have been an art teacher this summer and while the work can be tiring and challenging at times, it is incredibly fulfilling at the end of the day. You would be surprised how refreshing being around kids (and kids-at-heart) can be for the creative soul.
Our summer workshops for the year are about to end, so to relax after a hard day’s work, I cut, rolled, glued, varnished, and assembled my first officially complete paper bead bracelet in the colors of Young Artists’ Studio. You could say this was one way of celebrating the joy of what we do. I plan to make more for my co-teachers, too. Spread the love, spread the good vibes. Happy teachers, happy students. :)
I believe our love of the arts and our belief in our students’ abilities keeps us alive. <3